From a largely joyless childhood in the UK, Jonathan shares his troubled family life, with an alcoholic father and domineering mother, through the school and college years and to the present day. He chronicles his agonizing struggles with severe depression and anxiety that caused massive marital strife with his two American wives plus career upheaval, almost resulting in suicide. His mental illness could not have made him more unsuited to his chosen career as an oil trader during which he suffered many failings, disappointments and betrayal that threw him into deep despair and his life into turmoil and, ultimately, near financial ruin.

His unfailing love for his four children from two difficult marriages shines through the darkness and has been the principal factor behind his survival. Jonathan offers valuable insight into the murky world of oil trading, supported by his first-hand knowledge of the industry, gained whilst working notably for Vitol and BP, as well as a trader's perspective on the Enron era, sprinkled with eye-opening, fascinating, and often amusing anecdotes.